Fish Face

If your child comes up to you with their cheeks puffed out, don't just assume that they are making the "fish face" and want you to push the air out by squishing their cheeks.  You might be shocked to realize that what you are now wearing, is the result of their cheeks being full of apple sauce!!!

Mommy Fail

If you're trying to multi task...ie..talking on the phone, making a bottle for the baby, and trying to sneak a couple of cookies into a napkin at the same time, don't be surprised if you get caught.  I swear I thought she was just whining because it was bedtime, it was only when I hung up the phone and was half way up the stairs with her that I realized she was actually screaming "cooooookie!!!!!".  Poor kiddo.

Slimy Hugs

If your child is sick and runs up to you, don't automatically think they are about to give you a great big hug, because you might be disappointed that instead, they are using your shirt for a snot rag.

Pretty!

If you hear your child saying "pretty" several times in a row from the other room, you probably should go check what pretty is.  It might just be a newly decorated bathroom.

5 gross things your kid might want to share

Almost on a daily basis, your kid will want to share things with you.  Sometimes these things are not so pleasant.  Here is a list of some gross things you child may want to share:

1.  Toothbrush - It never seems to fail that when your child is brushing their teeth, they also want to brush YOUR teeth.  Mind you, they usually don't offer to brush your teeth, until they have already brushed their teeth, a few toys, and maybe a pet or two.

2.  Drinks - If you give your child a drink, they most likely will try and offer you a drink of it too.  Most of the time, it's after they have taken a drink and left you food particles in the bottom of the cup.

3.  Kisses - Young children love to kiss, but in doing so, sometimes you get more than you bargain for.  Although it's the sweetest gesture a Parent can feel, it can also be gross.  You may end up with slobber on your face and lips, or some unwanted left over snack or drink stuck to you..

4.  Food - Many kids love to share their food with you.  It's such a kind thought.  What they don't understand, is that after they have taken a bite, pulling it back out of their mouth and trying to shove it in yours, well, it's just plain gross.  In the lucky event that you get a bite that's not recycled, your child will probably spend some happy minutes trying to take that bite back.

5.  Baths - A bath with your toddler can be a beautiful experience and a wonderful time to bond.  Unfortunately, it can turn into something gross within seconds.  They have been known to be playing one minute, then go to having a strange look on their face, and then the next thing you know, you are bathing with Charlie Browns.

Laundry Explosion

Thinking it might be okay to leave a laundry basket of your kids freshly washed clothes overnight in their room, probably is not such a good idea. 

Pee Pee in the Potty

While working on potty training with your child, please note that when they come to you and say "Pee pee in the potty", don't get too excited and start jumping up and down, until you see the finished result. 

Pouring their sippy cup of water into the potty doesn't count as peeing in the potty!! 

Wake Up Already!

If your child normally wakes up around 6am, but decides to sleep until 10am one day, it's okay to make several trips to their room to make sure they are still breathing.

Apparently it's not okay to kind of shake them and say their name really loud. 

I now have a child giving me dirty looks. 

Pudding Face

If you give your child pudding, you might want to hold off on doing the dishes while they eat it. 

Just saying.

Catch!

If you kid says "catch!", try to remember that they have ALREADY thrown whatever it is in their hand at you, and it might not be a ball, it just might be a potato!

Bubbles For All

If your kid keeps running up to you and saying "bubbles, bubbles", it might not be what you think, so be careful when you say "show me bubbles".  According to my kid, "bubbles" is the new word for toots.

Lip Sticker

If Daddy let's your child down from the table after a snack and she runs up to you for a kiss, make sure he has wiped her down from the honey facial she gave herself, otherwise you'll just end up being stuck to her lips.

House Party

If you child is supose to be taking a nap and you hear a few loud bangs on the monitor, and no scream, sit for one second to make sure it isn't just her picking up her dollhouse and dropping it on the floor over and over again.  Otherwise you could be looking at 10 or so trips up and down the stairs.  My legs hurt.  I finally just took the dollhouse out of her room.

Bye Bye

If you tell your child let's go "bye bye", something like this may happen:

Bed Time

If your child wakes up in the middle of the night and comes out of their room, don't just say "get back in bed", you'll end up just following them straight into your room.   It's best to be specific, like "get back in YOUR bed".

Bath Time

When you tell your child to go get some toys to play with in their bath, don't be suprised if they return with a keyboard and a hula hoop.

Diaper Change

When you say out loud to your child "okay, it's time to change the baby's diaper", be prepared for them to come down the stairs bearing gifts.............

Kiddie Pool

If you are concerned your child has something in their mouth that they shouldn't, it's not always so wise to jump to conclusions and tell them, while holding out your hand.."spit it out".  Sometimes they have nothing at all and you end up with a kiddie pool in your hand.

Not So Handy

If your child is suspiciously holding something in their hand, be careful.   Asking them to "give it to Mommy" might not be such a good idea.  A hand full of used cat food isn't my idea of a good time.

Tissue Training

When teaching your child all about potty training, keep one thing in mind......toilet tissue should be controlled only by you.  Otherwise, you might notice they wipe themselves well, but instead of dropping it in the toilet, they proceed to try and wipe their nose with it too.

Band Practice

Most of us love when our child wants to practice by brushing our hair, but if the child insists on using rubber bands, when they don't even know how to tie their shoes yet, I'd strongly go against it.  Pulling that clump of hair out of my head, wasn't fun, nor did it feel good.

Sticky Situation

If you let your child play dress up in your shoes, I recommend checking before you wear them, just to make sure there isn't a sticky fruit snack in them.

That Hurt

When playing baseball video games with your child, make sure they understand that your head is not to be used as the "ball".  I have a huge lump from that one.

Hair Ball

Whatever you do, do not let your child borrow your toothbrush.  It will inevitably end up being used for something not so pleasant.  Like brushing the cat.

Finger Happy

If your child wants to "explore" your mouth, be sure and check their fingers first.  I didn't even know my Daughter knew how to pick her nose, much less try and put it in my mouth.

Musical Slobber

Be careful if your child brings you an instrument they have been blowing on...ie...harmonica, and asks you to play a tune.  Remember:  Child + blowing into instrument = slobber in your mouth.

Wait, That's Not A Cracker

When your child comes up to you smacking away, don't just assume it's the cracker you gave them two minutes ago and say "yummy yummy for your tummy". Check to make sure it is indeed a cracker, and not kitty litter.

Don't Drink The Water

 If a child brings you one of their play cups and offers you a drink, please, please if it's full of water, DO NOT DRINK IT!!! It may be hazardous to your health.

I think I may have just accepted a small sip of toilet water.