Nice Hair - Not a PG post

As a Mother, I've learned that when my Daughter says "tada", it usually means something more like "oops".

If your child walks into the room and their hair is all wet and gooey, don't be surprised if you find that they were rummaging through Daddy's drawer in his room and decided that KY Jelly would look really good as a new hair gel product. 

Shout it out!

If someone comes to your door, and while you are speaking, passes gas, don't be surprised if your 2 year old runs up to the door and shouts out "Ew gwoss, you poo poo!".

Fish Face

If your child comes up to you with their cheeks puffed out, don't just assume that they are making the "fish face" and want you to push the air out by squishing their cheeks.  You might be shocked to realize that what you are now wearing, is the result of their cheeks being full of apple sauce!!!

Mommy Fail

If you're trying to multi task...ie..talking on the phone, making a bottle for the baby, and trying to sneak a couple of cookies into a napkin at the same time, don't be surprised if you get caught.  I swear I thought she was just whining because it was bedtime, it was only when I hung up the phone and was half way up the stairs with her that I realized she was actually screaming "cooooookie!!!!!".  Poor kiddo.

Slimy Hugs

If your child is sick and runs up to you, don't automatically think they are about to give you a great big hug, because you might be disappointed that instead, they are using your shirt for a snot rag.

Pretty!

If you hear your child saying "pretty" several times in a row from the other room, you probably should go check what pretty is.  It might just be a newly decorated bathroom.

5 gross things your kid might want to share

Almost on a daily basis, your kid will want to share things with you.  Sometimes these things are not so pleasant.  Here is a list of some gross things you child may want to share:

1.  Toothbrush - It never seems to fail that when your child is brushing their teeth, they also want to brush YOUR teeth.  Mind you, they usually don't offer to brush your teeth, until they have already brushed their teeth, a few toys, and maybe a pet or two.

2.  Drinks - If you give your child a drink, they most likely will try and offer you a drink of it too.  Most of the time, it's after they have taken a drink and left you food particles in the bottom of the cup.

3.  Kisses - Young children love to kiss, but in doing so, sometimes you get more than you bargain for.  Although it's the sweetest gesture a Parent can feel, it can also be gross.  You may end up with slobber on your face and lips, or some unwanted left over snack or drink stuck to you..

4.  Food - Many kids love to share their food with you.  It's such a kind thought.  What they don't understand, is that after they have taken a bite, pulling it back out of their mouth and trying to shove it in yours, well, it's just plain gross.  In the lucky event that you get a bite that's not recycled, your child will probably spend some happy minutes trying to take that bite back.

5.  Baths - A bath with your toddler can be a beautiful experience and a wonderful time to bond.  Unfortunately, it can turn into something gross within seconds.  They have been known to be playing one minute, then go to having a strange look on their face, and then the next thing you know, you are bathing with Charlie Browns.

Laundry Explosion

Thinking it might be okay to leave a laundry basket of your kids freshly washed clothes overnight in their room, probably is not such a good idea. 

Pee Pee in the Potty

While working on potty training with your child, please note that when they come to you and say "Pee pee in the potty", don't get too excited and start jumping up and down, until you see the finished result. 

Pouring their sippy cup of water into the potty doesn't count as peeing in the potty!! 

Wake Up Already!

If your child normally wakes up around 6am, but decides to sleep until 10am one day, it's okay to make several trips to their room to make sure they are still breathing.

Apparently it's not okay to kind of shake them and say their name really loud. 

I now have a child giving me dirty looks. 

Pudding Face

If you give your child pudding, you might want to hold off on doing the dishes while they eat it. 

Just saying.

Catch!

If you kid says "catch!", try to remember that they have ALREADY thrown whatever it is in their hand at you, and it might not be a ball, it just might be a potato!

Bubbles For All

If your kid keeps running up to you and saying "bubbles, bubbles", it might not be what you think, so be careful when you say "show me bubbles".  According to my kid, "bubbles" is the new word for toots.

Lip Sticker

If Daddy let's your child down from the table after a snack and she runs up to you for a kiss, make sure he has wiped her down from the honey facial she gave herself, otherwise you'll just end up being stuck to her lips.

House Party

If you child is supose to be taking a nap and you hear a few loud bangs on the monitor, and no scream, sit for one second to make sure it isn't just her picking up her dollhouse and dropping it on the floor over and over again.  Otherwise you could be looking at 10 or so trips up and down the stairs.  My legs hurt.  I finally just took the dollhouse out of her room.